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Political: Top 22 Reasons to vote for George W. Bush

Hilarious. LOL

[Via: Todd Berman]

Although these are numbered, they are in no particular order.

  1. You wake up in November hating the entire world.
  2. You always wanted to move to Canada, and the draft could be just the impetus you needed.
  3. You determine the leader of America based on how good they look in a fireman's hat.
  4. You need to know just how long his administration can go before it turns Powell into it's latest scapegoat.
  5. You want to see just how high this deficit can get before someone in the White House admits we have a problem.
  6. You can't get enough of that wacky National Security Advisor's latest hijinks.
  7. You live in Florida, because you figure if your vote isn't going to count, you might as well vote for the predetermined winner.
  8. Your hope that maybe if he wins this time, his father will jump out of the plane without a parachute this time.
  9. Another four years of neo-conservatives can't be worse than the first four.
  10. You think future presidents doing cocaine at Camp David is totally a good idea, and want to make sure Bush's daughters get more chances to prove how 'presidential' they can be.
  11. For some reason, the youth of America has always bothered you, and you would like to see more of their innocent lives lost in a pointless conflict.
  12. After 4 years of wonderfully funny flash animations, you have no idea how you can spend 8 hours at work without humour at George Bush's expense.
  13. He may have caused most of the rest of the world to lose what little respect it still had for America, but at least he didn't sleep with his intern.
  14. If George Bush is good enough for Jesus, he is good enough for you.
  15. You live in Tennessee, just got your thumbs, are relatively unsure how to use them, and missed the button to vote Yes on Prop 742 - Alien Sterility/Dentistry Program (Homage to the late master of comedy).
  16. Baby killing is good. Jodie Foster told you so.
  17. Pat Buchanan isn't running and you want the next best thing. Helms/Buchanan in 08!
  18. You are scared shitless.
  19. You are unable to resist the temptation to vote for Dick/Bush...
  20. Dick Cheney promised to show you his underground lair.
  21. Only thing better than one car wreck is two car wrecks.
  22. You were born mentally retarded.

 

Print | posted on Friday, September 17, 2004 12:59 PM